Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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