I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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