remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So vagazzling was a success
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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