i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
So apparently I’m into choking now
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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