Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i dont even know how to be here
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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