I wish I could punch you in the face.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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