Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
