he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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