I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
