I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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