My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
