I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
