The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize