I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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