I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
