Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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