I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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