the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
