i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
this just has baby written all over it
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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