Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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