I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
