My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
