Duck Duck Cougar?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize