Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
