giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
