my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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