you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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