Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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