At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
