We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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