Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Green mimosas i think yes
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
