i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
