WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
