So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
