The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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