thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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