I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
