You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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