yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
