you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
