thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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