Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
