I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
