i think my mom watched the whole time
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
