did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
