Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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