No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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