that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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