I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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