I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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