I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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