ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
