Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
