Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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