Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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