I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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