I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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