He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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