He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
