It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
