Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
