so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
