Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
