i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
