Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
babies were throwing up all over the place
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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