I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
